Say something about gay babies.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
