oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
