i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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