You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
