Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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