If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
