I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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