I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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