i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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