Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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