Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
