Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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