Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
either way he was missing a nipple.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
