Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
