Cold hands, warm shart.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
