you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
