I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize