She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize