we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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