..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
My hand turned me down
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
