it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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