And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
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