Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
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