I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
