C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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