Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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