he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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