Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
