Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
