Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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