so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
