she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Duck Duck Cougar?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
