he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
