if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize