best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
