she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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