Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
