You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
