The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
