at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.