i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I told you penises don't tan
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks