don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.