I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
