Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
