i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
