I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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