SEEEEXXX PLEASE
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
