i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
