Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Randomize
