WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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