she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
