in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize