The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
