Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
you're hired as official boob wrangler
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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