Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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