I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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