Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
