yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
