He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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