Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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