I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
