..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
