My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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