No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I wish you could order shots online.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
