i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize