She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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