You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
