lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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